


Uncharted Kindness

by ComposerEgg



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode 159, Prompt Fic, this got rly soft yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-02-01 00:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21303143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComposerEgg/pseuds/ComposerEgg
Summary: Jon sighs, loud in the silent cabin, and Martin looks over at him, head tilted so he can see Jon against his shoulder. The book in Jon’s lap hasn’t had a page turned in half an hour, thoughts a storm in his hungry head instead.“All good over there?” Martin asks, setting his notebook full of poetry to the side.“Yeah, I just--” He sighs again, trying to put it into words is hard. “You’re kind, you know? You’re too good, and kind, and-- I guess I don’t know how to deal with it.”
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 19
Kudos: 157





	Uncharted Kindness

**Author's Note:**

> prompted by the wonderful [Alex](https://thefluffiestofbirds.tumblr.com/) on tumblr :D
> 
> The prompt: ❛ what do you do with tenderness when all you expect is fury ? ❜ with jonmartin
> 
> You can find this on Tumblr [here](https://composeregg.tumblr.com/post/188799954628/hey-can-u-do-what-do-you-do-with-tenderness)

Jon sighs, loud in the silent cabin, and Martin looks over at him, head tilted so he can see Jon against his shoulder. The book in Jon’s lap hasn’t had a page turned in half an hour, thoughts a storm in his hungry head instead. 

“All good over there?” Martin asks, setting his notebook full of poetry to the side.

“Yeah, I just--” He sighs again, trying to put it into _words_ is hard. “You’re _kind, _you know?You’re too good, and kind, and-- I guess I don’t know how to deal with it.”

The only sound is the crackle of the fire, for a few seconds, before Martin fills the air again. “Well, I think after all we’ve been through, we both deserve to be kind, and to feel kindness in return.”

He squirms, sitting up a bit more, further away. Martin doesn’t do anything to pull him back, which Jon appreciates. Sometimes distance is safety. “That’s the thing though. You’ve been a right ass to you. I tried to shove you away because I was _afraid_. I’ve been scared my whole life, of letting people get close to me! You were just trying to be nice, even after I kept trying to push back against it.”

“Just because you were kinda rude doesn’t mean you deserve to be _hated_,” Martin says with a snort. “What, am I supposed to get mad at you? Tell you you’re an awful person because you were being rude?”

“Yes!” 

He’s so loud that they both _flinch_. “I--I don’t know why you _aren’t_ acting like I was absolutely awful. You’re supposed to be mad at me! That was the _point_ of it. Because I don’t know how to be close to people. And I appreciate the fact that you aren’t mad, I do,” he says, holding up a hand to keep Martin from talking over him. “But--I’m not _good_ at this. I don’t _understand_ it. What do I do with tenderness when all I’ve ever expected is fury?”

“Oh _Jon_,” Martin sighs. There’s so much _warmth_ in his voice that it rivals the flickering flames of the fireplace. It washes over Jon, his heart beating double-time. As Martin wraps an arm around him, careful to make sure Jon has all the space to pull away if he wants, Jon _melts_. 

“If it’s ever too much, you can let me know, but I’m here for you. I understand that things have been... Rough, in the past, but it doesn’t have to be like that anymore.” He pulls Jon closer, until he’s half-on Martin’s lap. “You don’t deserve the pain that’s been inflicted on you. It... I’m not excusing the way you treated me, but you’ve already apologized. I’ve already _forgiven_ you.”

“But--”

Martin shakes his head, and Jon stops. “No buts. I think you’ve gotten so used to hating yourself, that you expect it from others too, and try to get them to treat you the way you _think_ you deserve. Lucky you, I can see past that bullshit, and treat you how you _actually _deserve,” he says with a smile.

“I--I’m not going to be _good_ at this, I hope you know,” he mumbles. After that speech, he already knows his defenses are gone, that Martin’s right, but it’s _wrong_, somehow, to not put up a fight. Like the unease in his chest won’t go away unless he tries to convince Martin that he’s not worth it, one more time. “I’m still an asshole. My first instinct is to be sarcastic. Snide comments are my default, and I can’t just turn that _off_. Sometimes it’s like I don’t know how to not be cruel.”

“That’s okay,” Martin says, giving him a kiss on the forehead. “I can help you learn.”

**Author's Note:**

> Jonmartin Nano day 3 fic, round 3 :D
> 
> Thanks for reading! If you liked it pls drop me a comment below, I love feedback!!!
> 
> [prompt-list here! If you want to send one in you can!](https://composeregg.tumblr.com/post/188770875363/)  
  
[For statements about transformative works based on mine and concrit, check out my profile page linked here!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComposerEgg/profile)  
(summary: I love it all)


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